[Part 2/2] “My sister had strong post-traumatic stress disorder. She wouldn’t speak to anyone, no one could touch her apart from my mother. It was impossible to have any contact with men, apart from me, until she was 8 or 9 years old. She still has some patterns. The need to control everything around her, to control her everyday life. But she’s able to erase it with time. And she found a field of study that suits her very well. She’s studying management. So she’ll be able to have control over her field [laughs]! And she has a boyfriend now, since the last 6 years. She’s doing very well, she continues to rebuild her life. But it took a lot of time, and it was very complicated.
After it happened, I also had trauma. I used to be a very joyful and sociable boy, and I started to close up. The most difficult period for me was the teenage years. It was complicated to heal sentimentally speaking. You know, the first discoveries: the first time you date a girl, the first time you kiss her, etc. It was really difficult ! Also because I blamed myself for a long time. I knew very well that it wasn’t my fault, but when you’re a child and you see this kind of act, you’re telling yourself: I could’ve done something. Of course, but what ? That’s the big question.
It usually takes time. The most regrettable are these stupid things people say: “don’t worry, it’ll pass” or “I understand you”. And there’s actually this social pressure behind this, people see you like a poor little thing. But no! I’m not a poor little thing! I’m a human being who’s going to have to evolve in the face of something that just happened. I think we all have the power to heal and rebuild ourselves in the face of an event. I’m currently writing a book on resilience. I take hard and complicated situations, and I try to bring them to light to erase the hardness, and bring forward the positive, the reconstruction.”
(Carouge | translated from French)