“There was a lot of love in our family, and thanks to God we never lacked anything. Our parents never hit us, we had a very good relationship. Everything was good. My mother worked as a seamstress and my father in a cardboard company. When I was 13 I stopped school and started working in small shops. And at 21 I got pregnant, and my life changed… We were both very much in love, but he was from a wealthy family and his family didn’t want him to marry me because I was from a poor family, compared to them. He told his family, “If I don’t marry her, I will never marry”. But he didn’t have the strength to really oppose their will.
When I gave birth, they started legal proceedings to try to take the child away from me. Fortunately, I won the court case. We split up, and each of us went on with our lives separately. After the break-up, something happened inside me, and I never wanted to fall in love again. Years went by like that, only thinking about him. It was very hard, I suffered a lot. I told myself that there would never be another man in my life. I stayed for a long time with this idea in my head. And that’s what happened. I never fell in love again. He was the only man in my life. After him, my heart closed up and it never opened the same way again. And he never got married either. Love hurts (laughs)!
With this story in my head, I wanted to leave Colombia and change my life. And when I was 26 I went to Venezuela. I met a girl there who was doing sex work and I told her that I wanted to work too. At first she said no, because she knew I had never done it. But I said I could learn. And I did learn! The first time…it was very difficult. I had only known one man in my life, no other man had ever touched me. And in this job, men touch you everywhere, and that… It was very difficult. But soon enough, I made enough money to support my family and my daughter.
The first client… Listen… I was in a club, there were a lot of men. And the girl who had brought me there told me: “Bring a client to your room”. But she didn’t explain anything else. When a man asked me to go upstairs with him, I got scared, I didn’t want to do it anymore. But she said: “Now you’re here, you have to do it”. So I went up with him. The first thing to do was to ask for the money. But I didn’t know that, so I didn’t ask for anything. I didn’t even want to take off my clothes. He turned off the light and only then I undressed. I lay down on the bed, and when he started to touch me, my body tensed up. I had never been with another man! When he left, he told the other girls, “Don’t put me with her again, she has no experience!” But he had been kind and gentle with me, and left the money when he left.
Afterwards I learned to ask for the money, and to take the client to the sink to wash his hands and penis properly. In those days we didn’t use condoms! Every month we had to go for a vaginal examination and a blood test, and every 6 months the AIDS test. But fortunately I never caught anything. I worked like that for over 20 years! From 8 o’clock in the evening to 4 o’clock in the morning. All my life I’ve worked at night. I don’t like the day. As soon as I see the sun rise, I run home (laughs)! And there was a lot of work. I could have up to 14 men a night! On Sundays, as we didn’t work, we went out a bit, sometimes we went dancing in clubs. The routine of a normal life (laughs)! And every six months I went back to Colombia to see my mother and daughter.
We were treated very well in Venezuela, there was no violence. It was seen as a normal job. I had good clients who became friends, and who came only to see me. They would say to me: “I only want to be with you because you are caring, well educated, always clean and you smell good”. Which was not the case with all the girls (laughs)! And little by little I got used to this life. My mother never knew I was doing this job. I never wanted to tell her. It’s too hard for a mother to know that her daughter is doing this work. My daughter and my sisters know. But they never misjudged me or anything. I told my daughter when she turned 20. And she said, “Mom, who am I to judge you? You are my mother! I can’t judge you”. We have a wonderful relationship, full of love.
Then I had the opportunity to go to Europe. First I worked for a few years in Spain. I was doing cleaning in a club, and preparing food for about 30 girls who worked there. Then after a few years, I met some girls who worked in Geneva. Out of curiosity, I decided to try sex work here. I arrived here about ten years ago, and as it went well, I stayed! I’ve never had a problem with a client. It all depends on how you treat them. I like to be in harmony with the clients, and with the other girls too. The most important thing for me is respect. And when you have a bit of character, it’s easier to get respect. If I don’t want to go up with a client, I don’t go up. And if he insists, I tell him: run away or I’ll call the police (laughs)! Everyone here knows what I do, everyone respects me and calls me Madame!
I like to live as I see fit. Nobody tells me what to do or what to think! And I don’t bother to tell others how to live their lives either. Everyone does what they want. I don’t ask for help to buy food. I don’t work for the government, or anyone else. I work for myself, and that’s it! I am independent, hombre! That’s how it’s always been. I’m over 70 years old and I’m still working hard. I hope to retire soon, but first I want to make sure I have enough money. Because I don’t want to be dependent on welfare, or to be a burden to anyone. But I don’t feel old! I still want to live and do lots of things. And if God wants to take my life away now, he’ll take it away, and that’s it!
Religion is very important in my life. Every day I get up and thank God for the life he has given me. And when I go to church, I kneel down, and I talk to God with a lot of devotion and I feel good. You know, when I was young, I had two dreams. First, I wanted to become a nun for a long time. Then afterwards, when I was about 16-17 years old, all I could think about was getting married, with the white dress and all that. But things turned out a bit differently (laughs)! In the end, I don’t know if I had the life I wanted, but you know, the constraint of everything is money. You do what you have to do. And over time, you learn to live the life you have to live.”
Published as part of the mini-series “90’000 things in my head“, produced in partnership with Aspasie. | Translated from Spanish
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“There was a lot of love in our family, and thanks to God we never lacked anything. Our parents never hit us, we had a very good relationship. Everything was good. My mother worked as a seamstress and my father in a cardboard company. When I was 13 I stopped school and started working in small shops. And at 21 I got pregnant, and my life changed… We were both very much in love, but he was from a wealthy family and his family didn’t want him to marry me because I was from a poor family, compared to them. He told his family, “If I don’t marry her, I will never marry”. But he didn’t have the strength to really oppose their will.
When I gave birth, they started legal proceedings to try to take the child away from me. Fortunately, I won the court case. We split up, and each of us went on with our lives separately. After the break-up, something happened inside me, and I never wanted to fall in love again. Years went by like that, only thinking about him. It was very hard, I suffered a lot. I told myself that there would never be another man in my life. I stayed for a long time with this idea in my head. And that’s what happened. I never fell in love again. He was the only man in my life. After him, my heart closed up and it never opened the same way again. And he never got married either. Love hurts (laughs)!
With this story in my head, I wanted to leave Colombia and change my life. And when I was 26 I went to Venezuela. I met a girl there who was doing sex work and I told her that I wanted to work too. At first she said no, because she knew I had never done it. But I said I could learn. And I did learn! The first time…it was very difficult. I had only known one man in my life, no other man had ever touched me. And in this job, men touch you everywhere, and that… It was very difficult. But soon enough, I made enough money to support my family and my daughter.
The first client… Listen… I was in a club, there were a lot of men. And the girl who had brought me there told me: “Bring a client to your room”. But she didn’t explain anything else. When a man asked me to go upstairs with him, I got scared, I didn’t want to do it anymore. But she said: “Now you’re here, you have to do it”. So I went up with him. The first thing to do was to ask for the money. But I didn’t know that, so I didn’t ask for anything. I didn’t even want to take off my clothes. He turned off the light and only then I undressed. I lay down on the bed, and when he started to touch me, my body tensed up. I had never been with another man! When he left, he told the other girls, “Don’t put me with her again, she has no experience!” But he had been kind and gentle with me, and left the money when he left.
Afterwards I learned to ask for the money, and to take the client to the sink to wash his hands and penis properly. In those days we didn’t use condoms! Every month we had to go for a vaginal examination and a blood test, and every 6 months the AIDS test. But fortunately I never caught anything. I worked like that for over 20 years! From 8 o’clock in the evening to 4 o’clock in the morning. All my life I’ve worked at night. I don’t like the day. As soon as I see the sun rise, I run home (laughs)! And there was a lot of work. I could have up to 14 men a night! On Sundays, as we didn’t work, we went out a bit, sometimes we went dancing in clubs. The routine of a normal life (laughs)! And every six months I went back to Colombia to see my mother and daughter.
We were treated very well in Venezuela, there was no violence. It was seen as a normal job. I had good clients who became friends, and who came only to see me. They would say to me: “I only want to be with you because you are caring, well educated, always clean and you smell good”. Which was not the case with all the girls (laughs)! And little by little I got used to this life. My mother never knew I was doing this job. I never wanted to tell her. It’s too hard for a mother to know that her daughter is doing this work. My daughter and my sisters know. But they never misjudged me or anything. I told my daughter when she turned 20. And she said, “Mom, who am I to judge you? You are my mother! I can’t judge you”. We have a wonderful relationship, full of love.
Then I had the opportunity to go to Europe. First I worked for a few years in Spain. I was doing cleaning in a club, and preparing food for about 30 girls who worked there. Then after a few years, I met some girls who worked in Geneva. Out of curiosity, I decided to try sex work here. I arrived here about ten years ago, and as it went well, I stayed! I’ve never had a problem with a client. It all depends on how you treat them. I like to be in harmony with the clients, and with the other girls too. The most important thing for me is respect. And when you have a bit of character, it’s easier to get respect. If I don’t want to go up with a client, I don’t go up. And if he insists, I tell him: run away or I’ll call the police (laughs)! Everyone here knows what I do, everyone respects me and calls me Madame!
I like to live as I see fit. Nobody tells me what to do or what to think! And I don’t bother to tell others how to live their lives either. Everyone does what they want. I don’t ask for help to buy food. I don’t work for the government, or anyone else. I work for myself, and that’s it! I am independent, hombre! That’s how it’s always been. I’m over 70 years old and I’m still working hard. I hope to retire soon, but first I want to make sure I have enough money. Because I don’t want to be dependent on welfare, or to be a burden to anyone. But I don’t feel old! I still want to live and do lots of things. And if God wants to take my life away now, he’ll take it away, and that’s it!
Religion is very important in my life. Every day I get up and thank God for the life he has given me. And when I go to church, I kneel down, and I talk to God with a lot of devotion and I feel good. You know, when I was young, I had two dreams. First, I wanted to become a nun for a long time. Then afterwards, when I was about 16-17 years old, all I could think about was getting married, with the white dress and all that. But things turned out a bit differently (laughs)! In the end, I don’t know if I had the life I wanted, but you know, the constraint of everything is money. You do what you have to do. And over time, you learn to live the life you have to live.”
Published as part of the mini-series “90’000 things in my head“, produced in partnership with Aspasie. | Translated from Spanish