“It happened after my best friend was murdered. He was killed over a girl, for some stupid reason. It was almost 20 years ago. And I entered a very dark phase of my life. I was depressed, I wasn’t eating, I was really going down, down. I didn’t used to believe in anything. I used to make fun of all those who talked about God. I’m very much a rebel actually, so before anyone could make me believe anything… And then I told myself “well, it’s true that people have told me about God, but does this God really exist?”
So I tried a little bit of everything. I went to see the Hindus, the Muslims, the Catholics. But I didn’t find God. I came across one of my cousins who had become a pastor, and I told him “so tell me about your God, you’ve annoyed me with him so much [laughing]! I’m listening to you know, go ahead!” He talked to me, but I wasn’t very convinced. But then, the day it caught hold of me, it was really… wow! Sometimes people think we saw a spirit or the Lord Jesus appear in front of us, or something else. But I can’t even explain it. It’s something that came into my heart while I was praying, and that really brought me peace. The Holy Spirit talks through us, as we say.
I didn’t have depression anymore, I was really fulfilled, I was again like I used to be. Well, it was a process, there were also moments of doubt because I went through difficult times. But I knew this support was always there. No matter the hardships, I always have this joy that he gave me and that will never go away. There’s no need for anything else, he’s the one who boosts me [laughing]! I used to be very a very nervous and resentful person. I wasn’t looking to understand anything: I hit your first, and then we talked [laughing]! And it soothed me. If someone hurts me, I’m able to forgive her, to discuss calmly with her, without any hatred, anger or resentment. I wouldn’t have made it by myself, that’s for sure. I always say: your grace is enough for us Lord, no matter the situation, I trust you and I keep going forward.”
(Quai Gustave-Ador | translated from French)