[Part 5/5]

“What really changed my life was when my father and step-mother separated, so I left the house. That’s when I really started questioning myself, and I mean everything. I realized I was doing everything for them and nothing for myself. I didn’t know if the emotions I was feeling towards people were sincere or not. I had the impression of being an empty shell. I noticed that every time someone loved me, I had to necessarily love them back. That kind of stuff.

So, I also asked myself if I truly loved my boyfriend. I broke up with him. I left him aside for a month. He was patient again. I reached out to him, we talked, we told each other everything, what worked, what didn’t work. And then, in the end, I realized that my feelings were really true! We kind of started from scratch. And now actually everything is going well! My boyfriend is really… how can I say… the best thing that has ever happened to me! I never met a boy who is so patient. Especially since I friendzoned him for 3 years! And little by little, I realized “actually I think I love this guy!”

Now I really know what personality I have, what I like, what I don’t like. Already in terms of the future, I know what I really want to do, whereas I used to be super undecided, always looking for perfection. Actually, now I don’t care anymore. If I succeed, good. If I don’t, I start again. But yeah, now I really enjoy life to the fullest! I have no more taboos. If I have to say things, I say them and that’s it! I try to… I don’t know how to say it. People think that… for them, each trauma shouldn’t be shared, whereas I think that if someone is wrong, it’s better to say it. Why hide it, suppress it?”

(Saint-Jean | translated from French)